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FAQs

Who should read this blog?

Since it is 5 o’clock somewhere in the world, I guess everyone in the world should read this blog. Who knows when you will next be near one of these places and need a glass of wine? Any person who has already set their phone alarm to go off at 5pm, just so they won’t forget to have fun should read this blog. Anyone who gets up in the morning and starts thinking about how to infuse fun into their day even before they’ve had coffee should read this blog. Anyone who feels like they have an excuse to not be happy or have fun, should read this blog.

Who should not read this blog?

People who believe that Jesus did not turn water into wine at the wedding of Cana, but into grape juice should probably not read this blog. People who are fun-killers and life-suckers probably wouldn’t read this blog anyway. (And if you are one of those people, please don;t go to happy hour and suck other people’s will to live.) I would say that people who like surprises shouldn’t read this blog because then their Happy Hour might not be very surprising, but since I am so disorganized, it might be surprising anyway.

If I am not happy, can I go to happy hour?

Well, of course, on the surface the answer is YES. The purpose of Happy Hour is to get happy and if you are not happy, what better way to become so than with discounted alcohol and snacks and good conversation? But the real way to happiness is not eating and drinking, but making others happy. So maybe forget about your own unhappiness, so with friends and concentrate on their happiness for a change. And you will still get to eat and drink. But, if you are unhappy because you are a fun-killer/life-sucker then reread the question above.

Will this blog save my marriage?

Only a real dedication to the institution of marriage will save your marriage. But, if your marriage issue is financial stress, then finding the right happy hour might go a long way toward saving money instead of spending money. If your marriage issue is communication, then if you pick a good happy hour venue that doesn’t include a television with some kind of game on thereby forcing your husband/wife to talk, then communication might happen. If your marriage issue is family/in-laws, then don’t invite them to go with you or you can use the excuse of “we have to go to happy hour” to get out of going to their house for dinner. If your marriage issue is sex, well, really, do I have to explain that?

Can I bring my dog to happy hour?

If your dog is a seeing-eye dog, then I don’t think he/she can be excluded from your Happy Hour experience. Different cities and venues will have different rules, of course, but I would say that your dog needs to be properly dressed to fit the location and toilet-trained as well. You might need to bring his ID so as to verify that he is 21. (which in dog years is only 3) If your dog is an alcoholic, then, of course, leave him at home.

Is red wine good for your heart?

That’s my excuse. Actually, it’s my husband who has a history of heart disease in his family. I drink it on his behalf and certainly enough for both of us.

Can you be too happy at Happy Hour?

If you are dancing on a table and suddenly look around to find that it is not your table, you are too happy at Happy Hour. If you are laughing so loud that all the tables around yours have emptied, you are too happy at Happy Hour. If your spouse is either glaring at you or is surreptitiously motioning to the bartender to cut you off, you are too happy at Happy Hour. I’m sure we can all come up with more examples yet to come!

Why have Happy Hour?

  • I am now officially old and love to eat/drink early like most geezers. I want to be in bed at nine, watching DVDs of Jack Bauer saving the world.
  • Appetizing is more fun than a full-blown meal, because of the variety of tastes and also, being Italian, I love to eat/talk/do anything with my hands–and appetizers are good for that.
  • Life should be driven around discussion and Happy Hour makes my husband have to sit down near me and be forced to talk about the mundane or how we can save the world, not unlike Jack Bauer.
  • Happy Hours usually start early and this means I do not have to wait until dark to have fun.
  • Adult beverages make people say things that they might normally keep inside. This makes for more authenticity and less political correctness. It provides an excellent opportunity to really get to know the real person. And think of all the drama that can happen when people don’t think before they speak.

What are the rules of Happy Hour?

(There are always rules.)

Get over the fact that you eat carbs–My husband and I are low-carb eaters (unless on vacation or it’s Thanksgiving, sometimes Christmas and certainly Vegas); therefore, I will have more information on cheese than anything breaded. I will, however, be extremely jealous that you do not restrict yourself this way and will wax eloquent on what you should eat, since I can’t!!!

Get over the fact that you love margaritas–In the spirit of Low-Carb, we drink mostly dry wines. I know there are a lot of low-carb martinis as well, but red wine is good for my heart. Even though I drink A LOT of red wine, (for medicinal purposes, of course) I am SO EASY when it comes to quality. Unless the wine tastes like vinegar, I will probably like it, and feel obligated to drink it. Do not in any way rely on me as any kind of wine expert!!! I will only be able to critique wine on the merits of fun, not on whether it tastes like chocolate shaved from the bark of a sycamore tree with cedar mulch finish.

You can’t expect a person who drinks this much wine to be organized–Please always check out any info that you see on this blog as to times/ deals/ days, etc. I am better at fun than organization, so I might get the information right, I might not. Or the times and prices might change and I will be too unorganized to find this out. If I have to be perfectly organized, this will cease to be fun and what fun is that?

Know your glass fullness–My glass is at LEAST half-full, which means that I want to have a good time and am predisposed to like most places. It has to be really bad for me to hate it. If you, on the other hand are a glass half-empty person, you might experience a different happy hour than I did at the exact same venue. Don’t despair, just have more to drink and you will get over it.

Who is Mary?

Where does she live?

Mary lives in Monument, Colorado, which lies at the highest point on I-25 between Denver and Colorado Springs. Monument gets a LOT of snow, which is FABULOUS. It is also the home of the greatest small town Fourth of July parade and really not known for much beyond that.

What does she do for a living?

Mary is and mostly has been a “kept-woman,” which means she has no real job. Therefore she spends the bulk of her days telling her husband and 2 adult children and 1 dog what to do. (The dog does not comply.) If Mary had to get a real job, she would be certainly qualified for McDonald’s and maybe even Target.

What are her interests?

Mary loves to talk. She reads, so that she will have something to talk about. She entertains, so that people will come over and talk to her. She plans poetry nights, so that people will come talk. She scours books of questions, so that she can get people to talk about things they think. Her favorite sport is discussion.

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